A collection of one liners...

1) At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."


2) In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there hungry. Come on in and get fed up."


3) In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."


4) On a Plumber's Shop: "We repair what your husband fixed."


5) On the trucks of a Plumbing Company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call us."


6) Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."


7) At a Tire Shop: "Invite us to your next blowout."


8) On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"


9) At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."


10) On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."


11) In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we assume you are on fire and put
you out."


12) On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."


13) On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."


14) At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."


15) Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


16) At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be de-Lighted."


17) In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Please drive carefully. We'll wait."