When you're done eating, wash your hands, make sure you finish your drink else it will be a waste, take the bill with you, walk out of the restaurant, throw the bill into the drain and walk away happily.
You may choose to come back the next day for another round of free food and guess what, they won't even know you exist. Hahahah....
If you had understood the above, well, that's exactly what I did last Saturday at Pandan Indah's Sri Paandi restaurant.
Here are the reasons why :-
One: The restaurant is run by Indians - which simply means run by donkeys. Donkeys have no food etiquette nor anything that goes along that line.
Two : All the waiters are men. They'll only look and care for if you are a woman. They'll go all out to make your day swell if you are a woman. Even if a 100 men came earlier than a woman, they will serve the woman first. If you still have no idea why, too bad. Even the men, most of them till now have no idea too. You really really need to get into the mentality of these donkeys to comprehend why.
Three: All the waiters including the cashier are from different parts of India. Each has his own donkey tale to tell and all the same time will champion their individuality's tale amongst each other. They'll fight, argue, curse and swear in front of the customers not realising making a jackass of themselves. Don't you still have any idea why I keep terming them as donkeys. One should see them in their light when the issue on politics sets in. All donkeys will congregate and go ballistic at each other forgetting that the customers are listening to their moronic squabbles.
Four. Now comes the cashier. He, I believe is the man behind the show. This goon has his own dumb way of making his customers buy the Indian sweets the restaurant sells.
Cashier ( comes around with the sweets on a tray) : Why don't you try this?
Customer looks puzzled.
Cashier : Try this, if its not nice or tasty, you don't have to pay.
Customer savours down the sweets, still looks puzzled and glums back at the cashier.
Customer : Not tasty at all.
Cashier : Ok, you don't have to pay.
If all restaurants were to adopt this goon's trade philosophy, bankruptcy will set in for sure or we don't have to pay for our food at all. How nice....
Five. Then there is this one guy - I call him the 'tapau' guy. Day in day out all he does is "tapau" food for the walk-in customers. Ask him anything else, he will ensure you that he is the direct descendant of a rhinoceros.
Six. Each time when I eat in this restaurant I need to call to ask for extra helpings like the gravy, which common sense will tell you that Asian food is always consumed with gravy. The waiter will bring you the gravy but minus the spoon. Realising the missing utensil, he will make another trip to get the spoon. And you better hope he does not spot a woman walking into the restaurant else ( you may need to re-read reason two) and there goes your spoon. He WILL run to get a rag to clean the table for the woman and will wait on until she orders. When he is done, he will come around (and if you are lucky) will ask if there is anything else you want when you're still waiting for the spoon. Still no idea why the donkey term.
Seven : When these waiters are attending to the customers, you can tell that their minds are elsewhere. I figured it, it is always India. Why? One spontaneously spoke to me in an alien language. He was day-dreaming of India. Realising his mistake, he smiled and said, "I was talking to the other waiter about the politician from his village...blahhh..blahhhh..and more blahhhhh."
Politics is one area you really can't challenge arguing with these Indians. They are so into it to the extend they can Wikipedia you the names of all Indian politicians from the dawn of time and acutely tell you even the birthdate of the mistresses the politician slept with.
Eight : Most times, I do pay. All I need to do is walk-up to the cashier and wait like hours. It is a general perception amongst these Indians that all customers will wait no matter how long it takes, to pay their bill. I've waited more than 15 minutes at times just to pay RM1.20 for "teh-tarik."
Nine, Ten, Eleven ..... there are just so many more reasons I could write but it is fruitless. A donkey is always a donkey.
So, the conclusion I gather is simply this - eat as much as you want, don't bother about the bill. Just walk away when you are done. If at all you are caught, don't worry. They won't call the police for they would be inviting more trouble to themselves.
I don't frequent this restaurant anymore, and there are times the cashier actually called out to me while passing by to come and eat in his restaurant. He must have realised the missing customer in me.
Now, let me also tell you the sad part of theses workers. All the workers are underpaid and work long hours. This is a gross violation of Human Rights but then again, HUMAN WHAT?? The Malaysian cliche. You can see the sadness and tiredness on their faces when they had to please and serve every customer. I really can't blame them and I have never reprimanded nor charred them either. I know well what's it like to start work from 6 morning till midnight.
I would very much like to meet the grand owner of this restaurant. I would also very much like to kick his bloody filthy arse for harbouring workers like slaves. The owner or should I say the bastard who owns the Sri Paandi chain of restaurants should be skinned alive and auctioned off at the hog's market while he is still breathing out through his sore arse.
Wata a worthless faggot he must be and I DO HOPE HE READS this. I would be more than glad to MAKE his day.
Bring a lady with you then, apa susah?
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