Work..Work and more Work...

In a nutshell, work is getting ardours and teething at my end. The other day I inadvertently screwed up my work due to off-the-cuff impending ethical work pressures. Nevertheless, its the norm and without it there is no meaning to this crude four letter unvulgar word called 'work.'

I have gone thru' the mill and been put into God's grinder, minced, masticated and spewed like chomped weed. I've been at the tip end of the shining blade and have walked on razor-sharp boundaries. Quintessentially at times. And have survived a holocaust of brig-bags from foul-mouthed hogs who bend on making the challenger lame.

Working for different companies has its own frontiers and pitfalls. The horizon is never painted blue but one is required to paint the colour regimented. Tho' there is an angelic wisdom in some cooperation, but it fails to heighten the spirits of the sane human when challenged by the law with puny scary legalities.

They do have their own biblical scriptures of their own. Walk the talk. Paint the company redder. Mingle with the high-enders. Talk, sing and yoddle cooperate. Make money, lots of money for the company that CARES for you, blah...blah...blah. Our demented labour laws are lame and come cheap. The lions don't roar in Malaysian courts but twit like a 'puddycats.' Wither the blue-collar.

But then again, what are we to challenge the wisdom of Neanderthals of time, when the little changes we put forth is never taken as a yardstick of improvement but as resentments.

Another day...another time. Same work..same crap

Quips and Quips

When Snake is alive, Snake eats Ants.
When Snake is dead, Ants eat Snake.
Time can turn at any time.
Don't neglect anyone in your life........ ...

Never make the same mistake twice,
There are so many new ones,
Try a different one each day.

A good way to change someone's attitude is to change our own.
Because, the same sun melts butter, also hardens clay!
Life is as we think, so think beautifully.

Life is just like a sea, we are moving without end.
Nothing stays with us,
what remain is just the memories of some people who touched us as Waves.

Whenever you want to know how rich you are?
Never count your currency,
just try to Drop a Tear and count how many hands reach out to WIPE that- that is true richness.

Heart tells the eyes see less, because you see and I suffer lot.
Eyes replied, feel less because you feel and I cry a lot.

Never change your originality for the sake of others,
because no one can play your role better than you.
So be yourself, because whatever you are, YOU are the best.

Baby mosquito came back after 1st time flying.
His dad asked him "How do you feel?"
He replied "It was wonderful, Everyone was clapping for me!"
Now thats what I call Positive Attitude

The Ocean and I...

The last time we met...,
You crawled between my warm toes
and jolted the morn out of my dazzy eyes;
I still remember your roars
and your mirth with salty tales
as you splashed about reminding your rues.The last time we met...,
You placed star-fish on the sand
all red except for one in blue;
I wondered then the depth you went
to gather such twinkles lying on the sand;
You told me with another brought from the blue.

The last time we met...,
You were not the same no more
I know the journey you take
when you bring your tales of adventure;
I watch hoping you would listen to mine
but you go away each time with your smelly tales.

The last time we met...,
You came with anger raging against the rocks
I quizzed and waited to see if you knew me;
But you kept your rage ignoring and yourself
as I stood and saw you only to die quaintly.

The last time we met...,
You had lost your youth but not the splash;
I was fooled by your stubbornness but
you made it look all too well;
I asked where is that smile of yours
while you ignored feeding the terns and the gulls.

The last time we met...
It's almost like the first time;
You came with a different colour
only this time I realised you had tried hard
to warn me by laying star-fish on the sand.

The last time we met...

The Book of Eli... a Dark Light..

Denzel Washington's movies are a delight to watch, at least to me that is. From the first of his that I watched, portraying as an angry moslem American in Malcolm X, to Cry Freedom - as an oppressed South Arfikan Bantu Steven Biko in an Apartheid ruled S.Africa and to the present - The Book of Eli portraying as a machete and gun back-packing ruthless messenger of God have never had a failed-formula. Beautiful in its own genre.

This six-footer hunk of a man has never failed to incite the little wonderment of his acting prowess in uncowardice roles. This is an actor who does roles to wake up the dead spirit of humans and conscience un-outspokenly. This is also an actor whom I have never heard of receiving any Oscars.

His latest - The Book of Eli along with thespian-old horse Gary Oldman, though stark, and the movie plotted against a world gone chaos, was a delight to watch. DW, scruffy back-packed and in dark light is something you don't see that light of him much.

With the Book of Eli, DW has now played conjugal roles both as a moslem and a christian championing both religions. It is not an easy role to take on less the money is good. Gary Oldman as they say 'good for any role' plays a gang lord boss who is after a rare possession owned by DW.

This may be not be the best of DW or win him an award, but for its cinematography, many will enjoy this movie. Jennifer Beals playing a blind mother and mistress makes it all the lunatic Gary Oldman more loveable.

I don't wana give away too much of this movie. Denzel is darker than dark.

Btw, The Wolfman is up for watch.

I think I wana go to the movies.

Conspiracy Theory...?

I read Americans were arrested for taking quake hit Haitian children out of Haiti. These Americans belong to some church group who're helping out children put in better homes in America or in other countries. The bulletin said, these children were actually given away by their parents to these church messengers saying they only wanted better lives for their children. The Haitian Government is irked over this "abduction" and are blaming Americans for violating child protection or something. To me it links to a conspiracy theory.

I want you to ponder over this for a moment and ask. Do you think, Americans taking children out of Haiti is the right thing; the Haitian parents giving away their children are noble?

Haiti was hit by an earthquake beyond repair for calamity reparation. You need to consider the devastation of a nation which has been on the poverty backlash list for a long time. Being impoverished; does it link to another conspiracy theory?

There are far too many questions and exclamation marks to this global problem especially the one faced by Haiti. On the other side and looking at it objectively, how much can the Haitian Government do to help its own people?

To address this problem, one need to zoom in and micro-analyse a quake hit scenario. The aftermath of an earthquake is akin to a country mini-nuked. When vast improved nations, and nations who build world economies are hit by quakes, they too suffer to rebuild. How will a 3rd world country like Haiti get out of an almost 8.0 Richter scale earthquake? The catastrophy is beyond rebuilding or even re engineering. Another conspiracy theory?

It'll take a gargantuan task for Haiti to regain normalcy let alone to rebuild homes, hospitals, schools, public amenities, to restore power and water sanitation and to which it is not an overnight task. Living in poverty and shuddered, what kind of help will Haiti need if money can only buy them that much solace to silence the pain and the lost. Conspiracy theory?

This is out of this world. What I mean is...can an earthquake be man-made or be created from some fusion? Well, I read the Chinese and the Russians are blaming Americans for the Haitian earthquake. They are blaming it on a hidden conspiracy theory of America where the Haitian earthquake was created from Alaska.

This is not only conspiracy but sheer gross bamboozled.

Like Mahathir said condemning, "If they can make Avatar, they can make 911."

Insane? Bamboozled? A Simpson's cartoon?

Lucky Pizza Guy...

On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies for everybody in this company".

An onlooker voiced out at the MD, "Sir...the pizza was only $74.20."

Salesman...

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured out cow droppings onto the carpet.


"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chili sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady. The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"We just moved in. There's no electricity in the house!"

Elbow visit

THE ELBOW VISIT


The Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson Antonio who is coming to visit with his wife Mareea.

"You comma de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301. There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow pusha button 301. I will Buzza you in. Come inside, the elevaturr is on the righta. Get in, and with you elbow pusha 3. When you get out, I'mma on the left. With your elbow, hit doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"

"Whaata, you coming empty handed?"

Grandpa...ha ha ha...

Revenue Canada decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the Revenue Canada office.

The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure Revenue Canada finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa.
'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing he has turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet twenty-five thousand dollars he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Answers by Kids...

If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers. Some of them are hysterical.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Indians - Leave Application....

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."


"As I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."


"As I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."


"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."


"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"


"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."


"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"


"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."


"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".


And this one's not about leave….


"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post

A collection of one liners...

1) At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."


2) In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there hungry. Come on in and get fed up."


3) In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."


4) On a Plumber's Shop: "We repair what your husband fixed."


5) On the trucks of a Plumbing Company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call us."


6) Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."


7) At a Tire Shop: "Invite us to your next blowout."


8) On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"


9) At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."


10) On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."


11) In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we assume you are on fire and put
you out."


12) On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."


13) On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."


14) At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."


15) Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


16) At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be de-Lighted."


17) In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Please drive carefully. We'll wait."