Rituals and more rituals...

Why do we ritualize ourselves with rituals? Ritual this, ritual that and ritual all that bloody that.
Seems like we're govern by rituals else we may be living in a topsy-turvydom society.

We've rituals for every occasion. Bathing a cow deems a ritual. A delivery boy buys a 2nd hand dilapidated kapchai, a prayer ritual is done. A coconut falls into the bedroom of a newly-wed couple, a ritual by both the in-laws is quickly performed so that the next time the coconut would fall like one mile away irrespective in which direction the wind blows. God have mercy on the coconut.

Seems like we are suckers for rituals - marriage rituals, death rituals, new born rituals, naming rituals, circumcision rituals, coming-of-age rituals, kenduri rituals, ceremonials rituals, entity rituals, ritual to kill another ritual ritual ....Oh god! the list goes on like donkey's years. Build a public toilet, also got ritual. Why not? They have grand opening ceremonies for public toilets.

I take a bet, if Barcelona wins the champions league, some dork is going to throw a ritual somewhere in Malaysia and kenduri the entire 'kampung' and call the TheSun to cover the news or TV3 - 'Jual Heboh.'

Grandma breaks a leg there is a ritual so that she won't break her other leg. Grandma sits and breaks a chair or stool, there is a ritual so that she won't sit anymore. There goes the grandma. Dad gets a bonus of RM50, immediately the family throws a ritual, so that he gets more RM50. The RM50 is spent on the ritual, kenduri, new clothes and a new rayban. Jealous neighbour thinking - How can he get so 'much' money? Two days later neighbour throws a ritual to curse upon the RM50 ritual.

The neighbour's boy peeps at the girl opposite his house, a ritual is called for so that the girl responds to the stare. After a week or two when she responds back (make sure she does), then wow soon-to-come son-in-law engagement rituals in on the cards. If any of the family member were to kick the bucket, then a ritual to fend off the earlier ritual is done to clear the feng-shui.

Postman brings a telegram, that same evening a read-the-contents ritual is done. Someone comes bringing bad news, a brutal ritual is done to kill the messenger by way of accident or illness. You have no idea what more rituals they've hidden away to surprise the times. A whole kampung is called to party so that all the boys can meet all the girls and end up boy-meet-girl get-together, a ritual is feasted. Siting at home don't know what to do, no job no money, throw a ritual.

Oh Boy...things they can cook and come up with...!

Gosh.. Come to my country la...we are very much friendly ritual related.

Wherela they get all these rituals? Aiyoooo.....
White-man society have fewer ritual than us...White-man dumb izzit?

Why are we so like dumb-dumb one and make all things sacred?

If you're to dissect the rituals accordingly to the races in Malaysia, one calender year is just not enough.

For one thing I do know for sure, given the chance, if one percent of their belief is negative immediately a ritual is thrown. Never mind if the 99.9% is a good omen. Many believe rituals are the 'modem' and 'internet' to make peace with Hell and to make the Gods happy or to put it in another way, all for the sake of good tidings.

The Malays, the Hindus and the Malaysian Chinese are so God damn superstitious. I mean, did something ever happen like Jurassic years ago to us that we have to regiment ourselves and conduct all this unprofound rituals? Was there any kind of cataclysmic event that spurned off the charts and out of the blue angered the Gods and made us to conduct insane rituals?

Holy cow! For the love of mother God, Nature and Universe...enough la...

If rituals are not performed, eldest run amok. Then the curses come out like missiles. Neighbour gets offended with the noises and throws a ritual to zip the laser-mouths. Don't care even if a tornado were to cross path, must throw a ritual else neighbours will talk.

Orang Asli also have rituals - jungle rituals. You take all the ingredients they use for their rituals and put together, you can grow another jungle. Lucky, they don't know the bad of it else more jungles will disappear.

Naming a new born baby which needs the consent of a local priest requires a ritual else the baby will grow into prolly Jack the Ripper, or look like Mr.Bean or Samy Velu. We're are so thought and doctored up to be ingrained with rituals to the extent we become ritual zombies. It's like God is going to punch the crap out of you if you do not ritual Him with a new slaughter, or fortune cookies or even with burnt offerings.

Long live the rituals...hahaha