Kuala Lumpur....

I'm no more a domestic traveler. Like the times, I've moved away from the hustle and bustle of city life. It has become somewhat a humdrum. Like a broken water-pipe, my city life had drained away from me.

Abrupt halt.

The thing is, I don't enjoy the monotony of city life no more. Even a sudden coruscation I view it as boring and irrelevant. And this I owe to my indolent travesty.

Kuala Lumpur is a city with a plentiful DEADizens. Opps..did I say city? Tho' Islamised as City status, KL is merely nothing but a 'kampung' if I were to compare it with other cities on the globe. I can't begin to imagine the euphoria of that, what more look forward for the perfect year - 2020 when this so called 'kampung' will be re-Islamised as developed status.

In retrospect to the above, this is what I'm trying to say.

I'm done with KL. It's time to move away; to move on to another, not city or town but to something I should rightfully belong to. Maybe a place I truly should call home or better to - a homecoming.  

Living in the city, working, pretending to enjoy life in it, ensuring I look a cool KLaite, playing in it, shopping, sweating it out in it and all that blah  blah blah crap had in many ways thought me rude lessons I SHOULD NOT forget. I've been living in this Muddy Banks (KL translated) a mere good 10 years now. All good should come to an end and thus my time is up. All I've seen and grown up is into being a blind urchin of the KLaite society. Am frothing. For sheer basic needs, I can't believe I've stayed on thus long. 

Okay, now for the cold hard facts of the place you call city.

I do ask at times, how can anyone call this place home?  How can you possibly live and go on living in a place where there are more immigrants then locals? How can one go by when for every 5 people you meet none smiles or greets you? This is a place where chivalry is sure a dead thing.  

They've some of the biggest and tallest buildings here. You mean to say such buildings are unquestionably required. Can't they build them say -in Gopeng, or in Batu Kikir (if you know where this place is) or even in Kodiang? (this too).

They're residential houses built bigger then football fields. More affluent then a theme park and I know one where the residential cars (4 of them) are parked on the third floor. I wonder in which floor are the bedrooms? Some houses are so big and quiet. What do they keep in their houses - Tanks? Aircraft Carriers? So rich ma.

And they're people in KL who live under bridges all their lives, on the five-foot way, in Central Market and many make their homes in bus stations. This is what I call the rich-man's rip-off over the poor but who am I the pauper to argue. It's always the voice and colour of money that takes precedence over anything small and timid.

And in the middle of the city two rivers wind and snake and meet at its very heart - Masjid Jamek. That's okay, and its good to have some sort of NATURE run into the city but look at the state of the river. Will these two rivers ever have colourless water? Will people actually sit by the river and amaze at such a god-gifted wonder like in Seoul? All you'll get is jetsam and flotsam of dead-bodies, an entire "kampong" will float by with fathers and mothers-in-law thrown into it, human excretions, mud, dirt ... need I say more. Throw anything or better everything. And this very river is going to flow into the city like forever with the same tune. Try imagining the river and the year 2020 chronicling together. 

Kuala Lumpur has everything a city should have. KLaites are truly a 'PROUD' bunch. There is crowd, noise, traffic jams, hawkers, fast food, drunkards, rude people, crazy idiots, stinking bastards, arseholes, obnoxious barbarians, road bullies, expensive shops selling stuff we don't need, not-so SMART tunnels, murders, robberies, baby-dumpings, carbon monoxide, annoying neighbours, mosques and temples in every corner, buses that don't run on time, spitting, swearing, slurring hmmm...did I leave anything out? Manglish, illegal CDs and DVDs, pasar malams, unhygienic food, evil doers, scams, fornicating religious gurus, counterfeit monies .... e.t.c. e.t.c. e.t.c.

Ohh yea, crowded streets, Mamaks and Char Koew Teows along the roads, Tolls and of course people like yours faithfully here who has nothing better to do than to write this. Glee.

Don't forget the moonlighting foreigners  - Viets, Banglas, Nepalese, Indians, Myanmaries, Thais, Filipinos, Idiots, Faggots, Africans ....PHEWWW! 

How did all this happen?

But then again, KL has Malays, Chinese, Hindus, Turban-brothers, Orang Aslis, cats, dogs, iguanas, pythons, raping fathers, Politicians and even cows that can be seen grazing in Sunway. What a kaleidoscope!


We are there ooorite!  We are ready for 2020. From urban to barbarian.

We too have rich blood-sucking bastards who open up fancy and crocked establishments to enrich their bank accounts. These establishments, believe it or not, will have a link somewhere connected to some under the table project given by the Government. Most are white elephants and these so-called 'Harvard' trained business men run their businesses to the tune of their grandfathers. Some sit on their grandfather's time and dictate politics. 

However way one sees it, undoubtedly there is one thing KL has very few multi-cultured nations don't have - it's called HATE. KLaites exude hatred like haze. Everyone is at each other's head or throat for all the wrong reasons. There was a time I began to view it as a dog eat dog world. I think it still is.

KL is also the only place where illegal commodities are sold right out of your noses smack in front of city's authorities. Be it Police or Bandaraya.  

And it's also a place where on a Friday noon, any Moslem can park his vehicle anywhere he likes with total disregard for the mayhem it would create whilst performing their religious obligations. I learned one thing from this. Never buy or build a house beside a mosque ever. Why doesn't the saman-frency numbnuts saman these offenders?

KLaites believe expensive taste talks well. Hello..have you noticed our MYR is almost worthless if you were to compare with other currencies. And what's this thing about Kelantan introducing Dirhams? If they take this seriouly and take over Putrajaya, pawnshops will flourish like nasi-lemak stalls.

Ohh! This reminds me of getting an Air-Asia ticket to Kelantan. Wonder what I can see to write of our Tok guru's state. Heheheeheh.

off the cuff....

I once lived in Bangsar for a week and by the end of the week decided it was enough to call this dumb foolish place home even when it was called The Little Los Angele then. I've no idea what they call it now. Las Vegas perhaps! 

I really can't remember exactly the last time I ever went to this dumb foolish dump-place - maybe some 4 years ago. I need to go there next week and I'm frigging and frowning. 

Live apt to reasons with value.