Malaysia's new 1Cabinet ...

Malaysia's new and best ever 1Cabinet was revealed by the Premier lately. 

Malaysians who made up 80 percent of voters in the just concluded General Elections greeted the victory of the ruling party with 'felicitations' and fanfare. Many offered prayers and thanked the heavens and the stars for a peaceful, honest, fair, free and an un-tainted 2013 un-General Elections.

Many non-citizens and aliens took to the streets and danced to the tunes of 1Malaysia. Some shed tears of joy over the victory. Jubilant Malaysians went on to meet and greet their representatives and elected Parliamentarians in what election pundits had predicted -  a mud slide victory in one of the cleanest lop-sided elections ever in the history of Malaysia. 

The Election Commission was gutted with emotion, awe and reverence over the manner they had managed and run the national polls. They did not anticipate their godly wisdom in taking Malaysia thru' a democratic election process would culminate therein after to a Christmas party. Kudos to the EC.

The UN has scrambled a crack team to Malaysia in wanting to learn and know how a nation with a little over 27 million population could make the majority to vote for the right party over and over again for the last 50 something years. The UN team is also under disguise in a 'knowledge-sharing" technology transfer of the electroll system of Malaysia. 

World leaders from the Eskimos of North Pole to the Kalahari Bushmen warriors in Africa raced to send their congratulatory messages to the Premier on his well earned mud slide victory. As we speak, many nations stuck in war zones territories are risking their lives to send their messages via aircraft without engines.  It's believed the messages will reach the Premier five years from now, hopefully during PRU14. 

Some leaders sent their emails as postal votes anticipating a sure victory by the ruing ruling party while others came by submarines to send their heart felt regards and congratulations.

Countries around the Asian region namely Bangladesh, India, Myanmar, Nepal, Vietnam, Indonesia and Sri Lanka sent in their people as reinforcements to pay their congratulatory regards via votes. The new Malaysian 1Cabinet extended their warmest thanks to all who heaped and jumped in to cast votes. Many in other parts of the world namely the Chinese from China scaled the Great Wall of China to get here to vote. No one told them Malaysia had actually used up all the Chinese nationals here, there and everywhere to vote. 

The fact Martians and Nubians are allowed to vote in Malaysia is only perpetrated by the Opposition party to derail the Election. Don't be misled. The Malaysian Government is trying hard for the last 50 years to show its citizens and its neighboring nations the true meaning of democracy. They even managed to get Yap Ah Loy and his tomb mates to vote as well.

Countries who sent in their votes via post and upon hearing the same party for over 50 years have won via FREE, FAIR and JUSTIFIED elections, flew the Jalur UnGemilang in their respective countries as a show of solidarity and respect. United Nations will pass a resolution to ensure in future all nations copy Malaysia's election blue print for the future and the well being of democracy.

** this just came in : 

For those sore losers and dejected voters who have voted and see their democratic right to vote and be heard dashed, you're gracefully invited to leave the country (MIGRATE) to another nation to vote and be merry. 

Many nations within the region of ASEAN and Asia are offering free citizenship for Malaysians to go there and rig their elections as well. So, our new caring 1Cabinet is making it all possible for all disheartened Malaysians on a one way ticket to an away land. That's why we're still under the leadership of 1Malaysia and 1Cabinet. They really really care, don't they?

But then if you turn the other cheek and plan to stay on and if the same party wins the PRU14, you stand a better chance to migrate to the moon or mars. Malaysia is making all effort to send 1Melayu to the moon or mars soon to establish diplomatic relationship with our inter stellar planets. Sorry,  Malaysia will not send a Chinese as he/she may cause a cosmic wave and land in China instead. Anyway, the choice is yours.  
++ Don't bother knowing about Indians. They'll prolly land in the Indian Ocean.

 

And for Malaysians who are lost, confused, angry, disappointed, cheated, taken for a ride over the victory of democracy in Malaysia, the below will ensure you're still in safe hands of the newly elected 1Cabinet of Malaysia.

                                   Malaysia's 1Cabinet pile-up

 

                            The 1Cabinet comprises the below:

                                                Wood -

                                                Doors

                                                Drawers

                                               Glass.

                                               Nails

                                                       Pliers.

                                                    Hammers.

                                                Crowbar

                                                Screws

                                                   Paint

                                               Formica

                                               Latches.

                                                                                                                               

and Termites

Long live Thailand, Myanmar, Vietnam, Indonesia, Laos, Cambodia, India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, battered maids and Ibrahim Ali for making PRU13 the best Democratic election ever.

Till we wait for PRU14 for more cheats, rigging, bluff, scandals, bullshit and tainted Democracy....here's me bidding you Goodwill and God Speed.